Missed Call

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Kelly and Dumpster Jo hit it off right away. Their relationship blossomed out of the ashes of an old flame. Friends, family, and mall police all commented on how perfect they were for each other. Soon they were engaged, and their wedding was truly a sight to behold - the dress made out of layers of flowing cardboard, the cake made out of tossed-out cake from the cake shop, the mall police crashing the wedding to break everything up. Sure, a few things went wrong here and there on the big day, but it didn't matter: Nothing made Kelly happier than finally locking down the woman of his dreams, Dumpster Jo.

Oh, you thought Dumpster Jo was the homeless guy, huh? That just shows what an intolerant person you are. So quick to judge, so keen to file people away. You could never have a love like Kelly and Joann, who got her nickname from all the times she'd take a shit in a dumpster for fun.

Your intolerance makes me sick. You don't deserve this heartwarming tale. I'm going to end it right here. May you find peace with whatever hate you carry around inside your heart.
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